Dear Rowsheall,
The day is finally here. The game of hide and seek can end today. (That's what I told you on our last visit). I'm here in the same house open armed and got memory box and pictures and DVD of our home videos of the supervised visits (minus the last visit because the supervisor screwed up the camera grr) anyways baby girl I was in labor all day the 28th started getting real about 1:00amish so went to the hospital they sent me home around 1:30am because I wasn't making progress was still at a 3 came back half an hour later I was a 7 then at 2:16am had you. Glad I got back in time. Anyways.
Thankful you were adopted quickly after the last visitation that was Aug 29, 2002. And I look at the adoption as you were concieved not only in my womb but also in the hearts of the parents who raised you.
I'm super excited to see you...Well meet you and see what a beautiful woman you are today. I was born at 1:08am and you were born at 2:16am so X2 :) how I remember, you're the only one I remember the time for, I have to look up everyone else's :) anyways. I hope you have a great birthday today and I hope I'm included in your celebration as I can hardly contain my excitement to finally be able to hug you and hold you again.
If you wanna wait until Katelyn turns 18 and you both can come find me I understand that I will still be waiting how ever long you wanna wait but I hope not too long after Katelyn turns 18. Idk if I can wait much longer after that. It's been a long 14 years 7 months since I last held you, heard you laugh, heard your voice, kissed you, hugged you, sung you are my sunshine, and fought back tears because my heart was breaking in a million pieces and I didn't want our visit to end early. I'm sorry I failed you. But I hope it was for your best. God had his hand on where you ended up. I feel it. Even if the devil won the court system and made it fail us and destroyed me and our family. I'm still here looking forward in meeting you. You all are why I keep going. I keep fighting the depression and fibromyalgia and whatever else that is going on with my health the doctor doesn't know keeps sending me places I had L5S1 fusion surgery. Now I get to see a rheumatologist about the elevated inflammation levels. Hopefully I can walk away with better answers as to why I hurt so bad physically and have a better pain management plan in place and can function better in my day. I will keep fighting the good fight no matter how much I wanna just quit. You will come find me either today or someday soon and I will be waiting with my arms opened wide. I had Torticolis outbreak this morning so pardon my neck brace if you do come today.
I love you and miss you so much I can't hardly contain myself!
Sincerely,
Your loving birth mother,
Rabeka Jo (F) D
D.O.B. 5-1980
P.s. my husband bought my mom's house which is why I'm in the same house as when you two were robbed from me April 10, 2001 ironically your due date.
