And i miss you so much and wish i wasnt robbed from watching you girls grow up. But i was and am. Talk to you later. Love you both sincerely, ~Rabeka JO

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So life is not only what you make it but also how you react to it all...i have been reevaluating my reactions to whats happened in my life and many things i could of reacted differently to...but i will never regret showing how devistated i was when i lost you girls in court. But i do regret not showing emotions on our last visitation...even though it would have ended our visit that much sooner...i should have not faked it like it didnt matter to me...cause it did matter the world to me. You girls were my sunshine and as tha song e sang to you girls says please dont take my sunshine away. But they did and i was in the dark for a while not knowing where to turn...what to do without you there with me giving me reason to get up in the morning and go to work each day etc. I really love you both very very very much! -), 8 '8++ 697 +9 :346 '7_# -), 28+# 8 2-+)5 49((3, %49' 2-5_#8)$ 697 $84?+ $492 70" (75 8 2-+ -), -'" 5-?! To you later. Love you both sincerely, any times ~Rabeka JO p.s. look in another post for the jumbled letters and numbers and symbols thing...I corrected it later

Dear rowsheall and katelyn, i keep trying to sleep and i cant stop thinking about you girls. I dont know why, but i am praying for you and your family. I hope you had a fun and safe 4th of july. Funny how no matter how many years go by without you girls here, the harder its getting to keep going on with my life. I feel guilty yet hopeful that you girls wont be mad at me for continuing with my life i feel i was born to live. That being living as a mother. Though i feel i am failing as one from time to time, probably cause of what happened with the state and our case, even though i know i did everything i physically could do and it wasnt good enough. I thought going on with my life would make the fact that you both are away from me go by easier, but i have to say this is better than the life i found myself in shortly after you were court ordered a life without me in it. I no doubt would of died on that path i was on. One thing i have learned about life is life is how you react~Rabeka JO