Dear Rowsheall and Katelyn, I know your name Rowsheall is changed now...I know that you two are with a loving family...I know that you are happy...I know you two are in good hands because God is in control...But everything that I stated above was told to me by the social worker who lied to me through out the termination process...So its hard for me to believe that...As far as that goes I am assuming you would be just as happy if not happier with me...And they can take their lies and shove them where the sun don't shine...I'm SO sorry that I didn't work harder even though it was my hardest and fastest I could physically do in my state of mind...They took my world and ripped it apart when they took you girls from me....It was hard most days to even get up out of bed but I did for you two...Because I was told I would get you two home with me in the end...Which was the biggest lie they told me...I Love you guys and just because I don't post a lot doesn't mean I don't think about you...I do every waking hour of the day...I don't want to wake up in the morning because I'm having a dream about you guys and holding you again...That's the only place where I can see you guys...It breaks my heart that it has to be this way...I am looking into finding a way to get you two home to me...Everything so far has been dead ends...But I wont give up...Like probably your new parents will tell you I gave you up or didn't try hard enough or what ever it is they fill your heads up with...I am trying and I did try my hardest...I'm sorry I didn't succeed...Their standards were too high and outrageous for me to comply obviously...I wish at least the new parents you have would at least send pictures or something to let me watch you two grow up...That's all I would ask if I couldn't get you back home with me...Or if you were truly happy where you are...Even still I don't know if I could walk away from you even if you were happy...I believe full heartedly you would be just as happy if not happier with me and your new Daddy Johnny and your brother Dylan...I pray everyday you come home to me sooner than later...And let God's will be done...I will understand if its God's will for you to be away from me...Maybe the family you have now can give you the things I always wanted to...Of course now I can give you these things and much more...And plus...I know they couldn't give you what I have...Which is my love I have for you two girls...I love you two so very much...And miss you each and everyday...I cant wait to see you again... I will talk to you two later, I think I should go to bed while your Brother is still asleep. I love you Rowsheall and I love you Katelyn Sincerely, Your loving birth mother Rabeka Jo (F) D ps.Mother's day was hard for me but I got through it. I thought about you two and cried alot all that day...wanting to hold you and hear the words "I love you momma" but of course you werent here and your brother cant speak yet...but hey maybe someday I will hear those words every day of my life for the rest of my life...anyway I thought you two should know I thought of you on that day...I love you talk to you later.